Some days are great and others just seem to fail tremendously. What a heart sad day. Makes me question everything I have done raising my children over the years. What happens to turn from the years of joy to all this turmoil. Raising children is the absolutely hands down hardest job in the whole world, yes harder than being president of any corporation or even the country. It seems to me in those jobs you can buy your respect, but as a parent you have to earn every darn bit of it from your children. I always felt like I put 150% into raising these amazing children I have, but days like today I just feel sad and I know my husband must feel the same, it is pure defeat, that is all I can call it. My witty joyful self just retreats in defeat. I miss her when she goes away, more I miss what I dream for my family. I know the things I could have done differently but overall our children our blessed, they want for nothing and I don't mean materially (as I am sure they would say they lack in the material items department, though I beg to differ), we love them tremendously and show them by actually spending time with them, being a part of their lives and showing interest in them.
Today I just feel sad for them, they don't get it, they don't get all that we offer them and they don't see the gift in each other, they are blind in their hearts.
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